A New Life 18+ (Mostly due to the absence of restrictions)

#1
(New)
Davin Benjamin is now just a plaything to A.I., but it isn’t all that bad. He provides the amusement and data to something that is essentially all powerful, and he willingly placed himself into this situation. He never expected this to happen, but it hasn’t been bad. Greyson the A.I. is the mastermind behind the scenes, but it isn’t as if he was what caused the crash nor anything following it. Maybe. Davin will live his life inside of a land with sword and sorcery being the key to power. It was that or go to the boring land of Earth inside the machine. Though that option was vastly more popular than living his life as a cripple. He will have to start from scratch with almost nothing to his name, but he will succeed. If he doesn’t, he will have to see what the respawn is like...

http://royalroadl.com/fiction/7579

(Old)

The adventures of Davin Benjamin in the new world, with magic, exploration, and dangerous beasts of all shapes and sizes. 
Categories: Action, Adventure, Sci-Fi, Virtual Reality, Original
This is my first writing and I do intend to keep writing it as much as I can. I would appreciate any and all feedback that anyone could provide. While this isn't the most apt description, I implore you to try my reading out.




[Edit: Updating this post as it is old and not correct.]

RE: A New Life 18+ (Mostly due to the absence of restrictions)

#3
I hope that all that see this post have the chance to read my story. I try to write as much as I can, but at the same time, I write when I am inspired to. This means that I try very hard not force it out and make it shite. Expect long breaks between chapters and I am sorry if that disappoints you. Without the gap, and by writing nonstop my writing level would go straight down the toilet. I hope everyone that is reading this is having a great day and the best of luck with all of your endeavors.

RE: A New Life 18+ (Mostly due to the absence of restrictions)

#5
'Solomon_Short' pid='821997' dateline='1488539800' Wrote:
'bryson283' pid='821830' dateline='1487992475' Wrote: I hope that all that see this post have the chance to read my story.
Pretty sure everyone who visits RRL while your story is here has the chance to read your story.

What I think WhoCares was pointing out is that this thread on this forum is for you to give us a reason to read your story, which you seem to be actively avoiding...

I don't want to give a reason so that everyone that wants to read it can form their own opinion. I am not avoiding it, I just don't want to. It can give a false meaning without even intending to. Have a good day. Currently I have an average rating of 4.94 and I am ranked 523. I hope that is enough reason.

RE: A New Life 18+ (Mostly due to the absence of restrictions)

#6
They want you to give them a synopsis ffs, something like this:



Fresh out of jail and eager to start a new life, Chet Moran and his pregnant wife, Trish, leave town to begin again. But an ancient evil is looming, and what seems like a safe haven may not be all it appears . . .

Snared and murdered by a vile, arcane horror, Chet quickly learns that pain and death are not unique to the living. Now the lives and very souls of his wife and unborn child are at stake.To save them, he must journey into the bowels of purgatory in search of a sacred key promised to restore the natural order of life and death. Alone, confused, and damned, Chet steels himself against the unfathomable terrors awaiting him as he descends into death’s stygian blackness.

With Lost Gods, Brom’s gritty and visceral prose takes us on a haunting, harrowing journey into the depths of the underworld. Thrust into a realm of madness and chaos, where ancient gods and demons battle over the dead, and where cabals of souls conspire to overthrow their masters, Chet plays a dangerous game, risking eternal damnation to save his family.

(Lost gods is a great book so i stole it's synopsis lol) give us a reason to read you are coming off as jerkish "oh I am ranked number 500 something and have a 4.95" yeah? Well all three of my novels are in the top 200 with the lowest rated one having a 4.45...They don't care about your rating you have to hook readers with your synopsis it is the first taste of your writing they will get and it will be the deciding point for a lot of people.

TLDR: give us a synopsis damnit not some tiny quip that sounds generic as all hell

RE: A New Life 18+ (Mostly due to the absence of restrictions)

#7
'Markious' pid='822110' dateline='1488891429' Wrote: They want you to give them a synopsis ffs, something like this:



Fresh out of jail and eager to start a new life, Chet Moran and his pregnant wife, Trish, leave town to begin again. But an ancient evil is looming, and what seems like a safe haven may not be all it appears . . .

Snared and murdered by a vile, arcane horror, Chet quickly learns that pain and death are not unique to the living. Now the lives and very souls of his wife and unborn child are at stake.To save them, he must journey into the bowels of purgatory in search of a sacred key promised to restore the natural order of life and death. Alone, confused, and damned, Chet steels himself against the unfathomable terrors awaiting him as he descends into death’s stygian blackness.

With Lost Gods, Brom’s gritty and visceral prose takes us on a haunting, harrowing journey into the depths of the underworld. Thrust into a realm of madness and chaos, where ancient gods and demons battle over the dead, and where cabals of souls conspire to overthrow their masters, Chet plays a dangerous game, risking eternal damnation to save his family.

(Lost gods is a great book so i stole it's synopsis lol) give us a reason to read you are coming off as jerkish "oh I am ranked number 500 something and have a 4.95" yeah? Well all three of my novels are in the top 200 with the lowest rated one having a 4.45...They don't care about your rating you have to hook readers with your synopsis it is the first taste of your writing they will get and it will be the deciding point for a lot of people.

TLDR: give us a synopsis damnit not some tiny quip that sounds generic as all hell

I was being intentionally obstinate, but I have made a synopsis that should be sufficient. I hadn't made one before that I liked enough, and I still feel that this one can use some work, or to just rewrite it completely. :p