Hello, so I was wondering what are some good tips on writing a story that involves romance. There are multiple types of romance writing strategies, but I am mainly looking for strategies that help build on a vanilla relationship. One out of pure love I guess. 

P.S Currently I have no romance in my story whatsoever.

Do you have a girlfriend/boyfriend?

In my experience, it's hard to tell how you fall in love with someone. It sounds cheesy but it's true. Normally, it starts with attraction then simple touches, holding hands, maybe some teasing. Before you know it, you're in love. Writing romance without experiencing it is hard.

If you don't have any experience, I suggest reading a romance novel. I will shamelessly recommend "Precious Hearts" Romances. My girl used to read it and I was curious. I skimmed the pages and I was hooked.

Anyway, here are my two favourite cliches:

1. Boy meets Girl but they disliked each other. A life changing event happened that they needed to work together and they fell for each other. I'm currently using this cliche in my novel.
2. Boy and Girl were childhood friends. After a few years, they realized that they're in love but they separated because "reasons". They grew up and meet again but the feelings faded away and after a few cheesy meetings, they fell for each other again. (You may add ex's in the story for more tension.)


You should avoid this type of cliche:

Boy rescues the girl and they fell for each other. This is the cliche that's always used in harems. No girl wants to be a damsel in distress and they too have pride. Although I must say that saving one's life can earn you points but let me ask you this: 

Will you instantly fall in love with your doctor after your surgery? or the fireman who rescued you when your house caught fire? Of course not. Love doesn't work that way. 

Love is complicated and simple at the same time. It's Magic! -.-keu-.-

Being romantic is both science and art. But it is hard to write romantic things without you (the writer) actually feeling it firsthand. Get your girlfriend, do romantic things for her. Write how you feel about each romantic act. It takes experience to write something good. And ask your girlfriend about how she felt of your romantic act. Since you (the writer) are supposed to know how each of your male and female character do and react towards every romantic act, and there supposed to be consequences of each act. You might be embarrassed to do this, but hey, your character is feeling it too!

...
I've read quite a few romance-ish novels, watched a lot of romance-ish shows... and am pretty good at observing how people act around each other. The answer is not to get a gf and experience it urself, but to just practice writing it the way you think it'd go.

(That's what I do anyways :P

I'm half-way between the advice given by jmlikestorock009, Baka Captain, and the advice given by Chiisu above.

If you've had the chance to be in a relationship before, even just a crush, draw upon that and those memories as much as possible, even if it ends up being painful or 'mushy'. Some people just don't have that well of experience to draw upon, so like Chiisu mentions, draw upon the experience of others by checking out some romantic stories.

I think, for myself, one of the big things that a lot of authors forget to really invest in when it comes to relationships are the actual emotions and perceptions that people have when they start to be attracted to one another and the chemistry that forms there. Many people go straight towards action or believe they have some kind of 'Ultra-slick Seduction Plan' in their head and that really isn't remotely what romance is like. Please don't make a character manipulative in a sincere love romance. That's fine for if you want the relationship to fall apart after, but a sincere, believable relationship needs almost zero manipulation. No pick-up lines. No sneaky gropes. No pick-up artistry involved.

People, like characters in a story, have certain traits and ideals that they are attracted to. Other characters may or may not possess those given traits. Sometimes people (and characters) need their perfect matches. Other times you can create a great amount of tension, chemistry, and romance-drama by showing off the imperfections of characters. Jane Austen (as old as her stuff is) is perfect for this kind of thing. Especially Pride & Prejudice.

Write about how the characters -feel- around certain other characters. You don't have to go completely purple or scarlet about it, but it's always good to fill up dialogue and exposition with. What about those other characters makes a character feel a certain way? Is it their physique? How they carry themselves? Confidence? A personality quirk? A sense of humor? How that character feels safe, secure or filled with the energy to take on the world? It doesn't always have to be sexual or physical, either.

There's a lot of power in simple actions, and try not to gloss over those to head straight into the romance. It's often nice to let things simmer and build up for a chapter (or a dozen) before you really hit the whole thing home. What do two people feel when they hold hands? A tingling electricity? Primal lust? A sense of security? A feeling of being where they are supposed to be? What is a kiss like between the two? Is it absolutely perfect, or is it kind of strange and only those two people feel perfectly okay with it? Is there a presence, smell, or sensation that a certain character leaves with another? This is often why many characters (and people) like to borrow each other's clothes and the like. A girlfriend wearing her boyfriend's old shirt, for instance.

Also, a big thing in romance is character vulnerability. You're exposing yourself to someone completely with a relationship. Sometimes people fight that, maybe if they suffered trauma or a bad relationship earlier in their life and that creates some tension in the story between the characters. Sometimes a character may not realize how vulnerable their romantic partner is and might step on their toes, seem aloof or callous in a scene and that sets off a mini-story and personal drama that needs to be resolved to rebuild trust. Maybe a character is fiercely independent and has a hard time surrendering to someone who cares about them, or maybe another is very dependent on another character and needs to grow into their own capabilities.

There are lots of fun things to explore with relationships in a story. Lots of elements of characters that come to the fore. You just have to find what parts you want to put in your story, how far you want to go with it, and what you can draw from through your own experiences or lack thereof.

Thanks for the advice guys I'll keep it in mind! Now I'm wondering though, what are some things you've seen in romance novels that really made it successful. Like was it the character development between them or the supporting characters.

In a romance novel, it's always the two main characters and their interactions with each other. Supporting characters are rarely, if ever, well developed and are there just to move the story along. And it's not bad since the focus is not on them. 

Once I heard that the most important character in a romance novel is 'Romance' itself, and I agree with it. The actions taken by the pair, their emotions and events that lead them along are all important on a similar level.

I'd say developing a relationship slowly is more organic and touching. You can go for the 'love/infatuation at first sight' thing if you want, but don't drive straight into the romantic relationship (Of course, sometimes things really do happen a bit too suddenly... heh heh) instead, try building a normal relationship that slowly gets more intimate and then you can go for the romance angle. From a purely literary point of view, my most important advice would be to make sure that you emotionally develop both of your characters. Even dense characters should experience some sort of change in behavior or emotions. A lot of good romance stories are marred by good romantic development on one side but static development on the other. Now this is great if the other person will later fall in love somehow or whatever, but then you have to make sure to outline that development too.
Good luck!

I read something if the MC end up with their childhood friend. So many story have childhood friend in there but they are thrown away by the new girl/guy that appears coz they are more fresh which is total bullshit.

'RexZShadow' pid='755607' dateline='1470878640' Wrote: I read something if the MC end up with their childhood friend. So many story have childhood friend in there but they are thrown away by the new girl/guy that appears coz they are more fresh which is total bullshit.

Yeah there's quite a bit of storys that do that, its a bit sad somethings. Especially when the childhood character is a 100 times better than the other female lead.

I don't mean to be a wet rag, but I think it's necessary to be in love with an actual girl and date her for a period of time to be able to write romance realistically.

Heck, it's typically needed to be able to write steamy content realistically. I can't tell you how obvious it is when reading someone's fiction that they have little to no experience with someone of the other sex from their writing of the romance/love scenes. Here, I'll post a blurb from my first complete book. Understand this is simply a simple "steamy" scene, not a romantic one.

Quote:Her yellow cat like eyes narrowed suspiciously. “You’re not trying to place those icy hands on me again?”

“I’m not going to bully you again with my icy hands.”

She looked at him a long time, then slipped out of the blankets and crouched down next to him. Once she had a spoon full of the stew in her mouth he placed both cold hands on both side of her waist and dropped her into his lap. He held his icy hands on her stomach as she squealed and thrashed. Eventually his hands warmed up, and she stopped struggling, leaning back against his chest. “You lied” She breathed, the tone in her voice was throaty, as she twisted in his arms and brought her face to his.

I can assure you this scene was very easy for me to write, as I had done this exact thing (cold hands on side's/stomach) to warm them. It's a natural scene. It's also one of those small details, small dating type / lover type events, that most people who never had a girlfriend/boyfriend could never write. Its the type of detail that feels natural in the interaction between two people who are sleeping with each other.

Now am I any good at writing romance? Not really. But while I'm no expert on writing romance, I am willing to bet most of the romance/steamy scenes I write will feel real to my audience. Even if I can't get the audience to fall in love with the characters I can keep the scenes believable, and "real".

So here is my advice. -If you've never had a girlfriend/boyfriend, stay away from romance unless you READ a lot of it and think you might be able to mimic that type of writing.-

Good luck!


I'm about to scale that romance mountain in my next book, and it scares the daylights out of me, as I REALLY am worried about making it feel real enough to sell people on it.

I've been avoiding this thread because... I don't agree with a couple things said.

'Experience it before writing it' can be applied to just about ANYTHING! So I very much DISAGREE with 'experience romance before writing romance'.
Why?
I'm writing a romance, and never had a girlfriend! (Albeit, it's not quite pure romance, but still...)
I write fight scenes, yet I've never been in a fight!
I've had comments saying they love both!

(((...maybe I'm just good at characterization and fight scenes?)))

NOW, what I DO agree with are the little tiny details that can be added in there if you yourself have experience. AGAIN, this can be said for ANYTHING!
BUT!
What about those who haven't had a partner like me? They don't know the little details... so I guess only THOSE people will like my story? Then so be it! I'm writing it anyways!


My advice for Loetrip:
Do a bit of research on what kind of romance you want to put your characters through. Figure out lots of things about your characters, build the relationships between them and their families (if they don't have a family, then it's already hard to relate!)... read some romance and pay attention to see if you can spot those little things that pop up!
AND HAVE FUN WRITING! (What's the point otherwise ;P

'Jade Dragon' pid='818191' dateline='1479259173' Wrote: I don't mean to be a wet rag, but I think it's necessary to be in love with an actual girl and date her for a period of time to be able to write romance realistically.  

Heck, it's typically needed to be able to write steamy content realistically.  I can't tell you how obvious it is when reading someone's fiction that they have little to no experience with someone of the other sex from their writing of the romance/love scenes.  Here, I'll post a blurb from my first complete book.  Understand this is simply a simple "steamy" scene, not a romantic one.  

Quote:Her yellow cat like eyes narrowed suspiciously.  “You’re not trying to place those icy hands on me again?”

“I’m not going to bully you again with my icy hands.”

She looked at him a long time, then slipped out of the blankets and crouched down next to him.  Once she had a spoon full of the stew in her mouth he placed both cold hands on both side of her waist and dropped her into his lap.  He held his icy hands on her stomach as she squealed and thrashed.  Eventually his hands warmed up, and she stopped struggling, leaning back against his chest.  “You lied” She breathed, the tone in her voice was throaty, as she twisted in his arms and brought her face to his.

For the record, I can't speak for males, but this scene is singularly un-steamy from a female perspective. Women enjoy stealing body heat from guys, not the other way around. My first reaction to reading this scene was wondering why the girl didn't elbow him in the face.

'unice5656' pid='818212' dateline='1479277329' Wrote: For the record, I can't speak for males, but this scene is singularly un-steamy from a female perspective. Women enjoy stealing body heat from guys, not the other way around. My first reaction to reading this scene was wondering why the girl didn't elbow him in the face.

HA!  And yes, I know about heat theft -_-

That's a valid reaction as well.  As for steamy, meh, as I said, I'm not strong writing romance/love scenes.  I try to keep them real and hope for the best.  This is why I'm dreading the romance planned in my next book.  I like to think i'm a somewhat romantic person myself, but writing romance?  comes out cheesy or lame when I try.  

Anyway, I did sorta edit that section down a bit, and intentionally chose something tame for this thread.  I thought it was alright, but on second glance it's pretty tame without the rest of the scene/chapter.

'Chiisutofupuru' pid='818202' dateline='1479265185' Wrote: I've been avoiding this thread because... I don't agree with a couple things said.

'Experience it before writing it' can be applied to just about ANYTHING! So I very much DISAGREE with 'experience romance before writing romance'.
Why?
I'm writing a romance, and never had a girlfriend! (Albeit, it's not quite pure romance, but still...)
I write fight scenes, yet I've never been in a fight!
I've had comments saying they love both!

(((...maybe I'm just good at characterization and fight scenes?)))

NOW, what I DO agree with are the little tiny details that can be added in there if you yourself have experience. AGAIN, this can be said for ANYTHING!
BUT!
What about those who haven't had a partner like me? They don't know the little details... so I guess only THOSE people will like my story? Then so be it! I'm writing it anyways!


My advice for Loetrip:
Do a bit of research on what kind of romance you want to put your characters through. Figure out lots of things about your characters, build the relationships between them and their families (if they don't have a family, then it's already hard to relate!)... read some romance and pay attention to see if you can spot those little things that pop up!
AND HAVE FUN WRITING! (What's the point otherwise ;P

I agree with what you say since I'm also a person with zero experience TT_TT. Makes it hard to gain the experience. And also thanks for the tips, I'll do some more research on it, though I don't really know that many novels/films that had a pure love type of relationship. The closest I can think of right now that came out recently was Your Name.