Is your MC a decent man?

#1
Today I was watching a medical drama and one of the female characters going through a divorce was very upset. Not because of the divorce or that her husband was cheating with another woman, which he was not... physically, but he was emotionally and that's what upset her. Listening to her about how she felt about her husband sharing intimate feelings with another women and not her, I couldn't help but agreeing with her that it feels like cheating. Then it hit me. Are all the male characters who chose one girl instead of a harem, but interact deeply with other women for the sake of the plot... are they cheating on their main girl? Are all those faithful characters fans say they like more than harem kings who only think with their lower body... exactly the same? Could they be worse since they aren't upright about what's going on? What do you think? Especially the authors. Are your male leads really faithful? What about female readers? When the MC starts getting close to another girl when they have a girlfriend or wife, gets deeply involved emotionally in that other girl's life, but do not engage in a physical relationship, do you think that's alright?

RE: Is your MC a decent man?

#2
I have to disagree. A person's life cannot revolve around their partners, it is just unhealthy. I understand that your partner is the one you should confide into and share a deep, intimate connection; but that doesn't mean you have to ignore others who need or want that. It's your choice if you want to make those connections with other people, there is no reason for your partner to be upset over it.

If you were lacking that mutual connection yourselves, and he was sharing it with another woman, I can understand it being a problem in that scenario. But in that scenario there is a problem with your relationship itself, regardless of the woman.

I mean, is it okay if it's a deep emotional connection with a guy? It just seems the whole problem here is the fact that they're a girl. I just don't think it's fair or right to be against your partner caring about other people, that sort of emotional control is borderline abusive. He has a life outside of you, and you have to respect that, just as he has to respect you and your choices.

RE: Is your MC a decent man?

#3
mhm this topic really fired up my opinion centers but suffice it to say ''friendships exists'' your partner should be your best friend, no even beyond that since it is a human being you have or are sharing your body with, the level of trust in one's partner should always be above 9000 or else the relationship doesn't work, like my friend above said, if you don't have that trust or level of communication then something is wrong with your relationship no matter how many convluted reasons you want to use or come up with, and trying to limit who or what gender the people your partner can have an emotional connection with is really controlling and toxic. 
having said that, the problem is in the case where your partner PREFERS talking about their emotions with other people rather than you even if you are willing to listen and have made it obvious to them well then it is about time to reconsider your relationship.

but honestly, any decent relationship should be built on friendship and trust, far too many people have been blinded by a pretty face and completely forgot that the whole point in a relationship is sharing your life with another human being. and it usually involves a lot of compromising and communications. if you aren't willing to communicate or compromise, for god's sake don't get into relationship.  
at least that is what i believe.
but yah TL:DR nope it is not cheating, it is just being human, and trying to limit or stop your partner from having connections to others than you because of their gender, is not only oppressing but also shows lack of substance in the relationship.

RE: Is your MC a decent man?

#4
The way the initial post put it, I feel it's the 'Thinking with the wrong head' problem again.

If you're talking about fictions, it's usually a result of bad writing. The author tells us that the male protag. is faithful to Love interest no.1, then showing him chasing after the skirt of Love interest no.2. Whether or not he's doing it intentionally, it's a jarring out-of-character error. Harem MC or not, it's cheating.

If he's really care about his only Love interest, then he should also think about how she would react to his action. Is she showing her insecurity? Is she hiding it to support him? If he's only up to good things, then he should at least talk to her. It's the moment when all the bloody gibberish splat on the screen. Communication and mutual decision are the key here.
Anyways, if the author fails to show that the hero is innocent, while still saying he is, then they only have their incompetence to blame. Readers will be the judge of that.

On a side note, if your male protag. is a badass je-ne-sais-quoi guy, making him help a girl out of nowhere for the sake of plot is not a good solution. He dies the moment that happens. Just find another way. I personally detest this plot development, never convincing enough.

RE: Is your MC a decent man?

#5
"Cheating" is defined by the betrayal of trust that happens during infidelity, not actions themselves. Therefore, whether something constitutes cheating depends on the relationship as it is defined by its participants.

The typical romantic notion we have of a couple is something like "lovers and best friends". The partners are expected to fulfill all or almost all of each other's physical and emotional needs, and looking to fulfill those needs elsewhere feels like a betrayal.

Even behaviour that many people would call "definitely cheating", such as sex with someone outside the relationship, would not be cheating as long as there is honesty and acceptance of the behaviour. In your example with the medical drama, it was more the secret-keeping than the close relationship with the other woman that made it feel like a betrayal.

RE: Is your MC a decent man?

#6
I think it totally depends on the relationship between the original couple. 
If the MC is committed to one girl and has a friendship with another girl, I think that's perfectly alright, as long as the relationship/friendship between the original couple is just as strong. 
If the MC is neglecting his girlfriend/wife while building a steady relationship with another person, I'm getting really pissed, because that's just as bad as cheating, but if the MC has a couple of female friends and a girlfriend, I don't think there's anything wrong with that. 
Often, a novel with a male MC with mutiple female friends is immediately classified as a harem novel, despite the fact that nothing ever happened between any of them. I mean, friendship does exist, doesn't it?