Looking for people to review my fantasy story

#1
My story RE:Box has garnered some negative attention, for both odd and bad reasons alike. So I want to see what people really think of the story. But please don't hate on every little thing. I haven't really been honestly reviewed in detail before so this would be a first. If you could please review it.

Here is the story
Currently leveling up my writing abilities will release a new story soon.