Hello everyone after i showed my story to many people, it appear that i have a pacing probleme.

So here is my question what are the rules to pace a story? 

Thanks.

Well, the basic rules are to make the pacing consistent unless you knowingly change it (either to increase tension, highlight action, accentuate emotions etc.)
Other than that, just keep reading your story out loud and you should notice where the pace shifts. Good luck with your writing!

I initially didn't want to reply to this thread because when I looked at your synopsis, I noticed a lot more problems than just the pacing and the cause of these problems seem to mainly stem from your own lack of interest in trying to fix them.

An example would be the incredibly obvious spelling mistakes found in your synopsis. Now, I don't care if you make some odd mistakes in your chapters or if you can't use commas properly. But spelling mistakes that any free spell checker can fix in under a minute should be fixed. And when I say under a minute, I mean your synopsis and every one of your chapters can have all their spelling mistakes fixed that fast if you just put them in a spell checker....

Before you ask other people to read your fiction, you should read it yourself. Even if English isn't your first language, you should be able to fix far more problems than any of us can.

If you ask anyone here, they'll probably just give some vague responses about pacing or spelling. That's because these obvious mistakes are so overwhelming in your fiction that it blinds us to the smaller and harder to notice problems. You should only ask us to read it after you've fixed all the obvious problems yourself.

This is a thread I made awhile ago
http://forum.royalroadl.com/showthread.php?tid=38849&highlight=How+to+Improve
I stand by what I wrote and suggest you follow the steps listed.

This may sound odd, but I'd suggest looking through some Shakespearian works. Find the plays, whichever interests you the most. Just by reading it you'll understand a fair portion of what to look for. Why? Because the language used requires fair concentration. You'll be able to note why character interactions come before after large events, in-between minor ones, and see the rising tension of the calm before the storm. Pacing largely isn't that big of an issue if it is paired with a reasonable sense of tension being built up prior or having conclusions to something considered to be a 'major' plot-point. Just follow a standard introduction, rising conflict, climax, and the like whilst feeding it into other passages - all whilst having a purpose. Just by consciously thinking of that, you'll be able to lead the readers better; thereby bringing the pacing issue to a minimum.

People rarely take notice of what is done right, but they'll hop to what was done incorrectly. As such, if they're feeling confused at sudden breaks or accelerations, then it probably more along the lines of the build-up. There is a reason why TV episodes, while short, are contained. They manage to further the story whilst keeping only a few pages of dialogue. It just makes sense. The reader understands it and can see something is going to happen. That is likely where the issue lay.

Pacing is an odd thing as there aren't any rules specifically on how to keep your story paced well. If you write well, pacing isn't going to be a problem. I found it's usually things you aren't doing well that ruins pacing. It's more like a symptom there's something wrong with your writing and not a cause.

Just glancing at you story,  and ignoring the grammar and spelling,  I noticed you don't take your time. And by that I mean it reads like that you are rushing getting to the parts you want to write and providing little or no relevant description as to what's happening.  Things just happen and the reader is left wondering how we got from A to B and suddenly were now at C. It's confusing and the general statement is, yes, your pacing isn't good. To improve pacing, you need to work on writing exposition. You need to work on description, how to introduce a character so readers care about what happens to them, how to transitions scenes, learn what is and isn't relevant information in your writing,  and do  research so things don't come off too unbelievable. That last bit of advice won't improve your pacing, but it'll make readers like me not question everything so much.

Another thing is POV. Pick a point of view and stick with it. Don't jump to an unnecessary point-of-view. If you don't do it right, jumping POVs ruins pacing. There are times when a story needs multiple POVs. When you have a focus on a single character, you want to that focus to stay on that character. You don't want to switch abruptly for a paragraph then switch back for less than relevant information. If you switch POVs make it relevant. Make the switch important  and transition it in. However, if something is written 95% in a single character POV then you should just go ahead and commit to the full 100% unless there is a really good reason story wise and it adds to the story not subtract from it.

What are the complaints that you've received? Too fast?  Too slow?  Too variable?

Here are some notes:

1. You use a ton of glue words.  This makes some of your sentences very sticky (hard to read).  Read them aloud to yourself and you'll see what I mean.  

Example:  


"Helena’s mother was ready to go pick up some money at the local bank."

could become

"Helena's mother was frustrated.  Her teenage daughter was always running behind.  This time, they were going to miss banking hours entirely leaving them without money for the rest of the week."



2. You're using commas too much.  And improperly.  Try to limit their usage.  Instead, focus on creating longer and more descriptive sentences.  

Example:


"The truth, Helena was now weak, mentally and physically, due to the constant bullying and her weight loss, anxiety took over her, she was now anorexic."

Maybe tighten it up.

"In truth, Helena was now both mentally and physically exhausted.  Bullies plagued the school grounds.  Some developed a particular taste for assaulting her, stealing her food, and destroying her homework.  Helena's anxiety often overwhelmed her.  When given the chance, she even avoided eating just to skip the guaranteed taunting and attacks by one bully or another."


3. You're head-hopping.  This can give readers whiplash.  And inspire confusion.  In short, you're jumping from one POV to another very quickly, chopping a single scene in two.  When you cut outside of the bank to the female policewoman, you destroyed the pace of the narrative happening inside the bank.  You also do it a bit when Anna drops Helena off at the school.  You let the reader know Anna was worried.  For the most part, you're sticking with Helena as the narrator.  I would avoid these shifts from Helena to other character's internal thoughts and feelings.


Now for the good things:

You have some good dialogue.  It needs a little cleaning up, but for the most part, it is alright.  Please watch your transition between dialogue and tags/action beats.

Example:

"... Helena I'm going to miss you.  My business trip for me and your father will take a year" said Anna.
Drop the first set of ellipses.  " will take a year," said Anna.

"Yeah I know mom." Replied Helena.
should be
"Yeah, I know mom," replied Helana.

In some cases, try to expand the prose by using more action beats instead of dialogue tags.  As long as it is clear who is speaking, you don't need a dialogue tag. :-)


So.  How can you help your pacing in the end?  Well.  Expand your story.  Turn 9,000 words into 30,000 words with the very same content.

Anyhow.  I'll end my critique.  It's a very good start.  You have the makings of a promising story.  Don't be rushed to get it out there for others to read.  Take your time with it.  Expand it.  Develop the characters.  Isolate the narrator to one point of view.  Read it out loud to yourself to edit it.  You don't need a formal editor for RRL, but a great deal of personal development can be had by expanding on it while correcting minor errors.

The dialogue errors, for example, can be corrected once.  When you know how to transition dialogue (grammar, tags vs. action beats) you'll have the tools you need to write solid dialogue from now on :-)