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Constructive feedback needed

#1
Hi there! I have a story that I've been working on for the better part of three years now. It's complete and I'm slowly uploading each chapter to royalroadl. Right now though, I'm looking for some constructive feedback. You can leave it in the form of a review if you like, but I'd like to know how you personally felt about the story.

How did you like the characters? How do you like the theme and general premise, and what you think is missing that could improve upon it. If needed, I will also provide constructive feedback to your fiction as well, but beware, when I say constructive, I mean I want something along the lines of, "Hey I liked X, but Y and Z didn't make any sense. This area here has too much exposition," etc. I will in turn give you same. So if you want a fair and critical review of your work, please let me know and we can help each other out Very Happy

Here is a link to my fiction: https://royalroadl.com/fiction/9611

EDIT: I'd like to make something super clear here though. This is not a book for the bright-eyed and curious. Stuff will get pretty serious down the road. I've been inspired by more thought provoking and mature media such as Berserk, Claymore, Parasyte, Saya no Uta, Star Trek, etc. Characters will encounter life-threatening circumstances, and things worse than death will eventually happen. This is meant to be a little more on the mature side, while still having that human and added slice of life feel added to it.

Chapters 1, 2, and 3 would appreciate some feedback. These chapters have been altered based on the feedback I've received thus far.
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#2
I'll take you up on it!
Here's mine: http://royalroadl.com/fiction/6356
You don't have a lot of chapters up yet though, so tell me when you think you have enough up for me to review it. I'll review it as soon as you PM me.
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#3
(15-01-17, 02:18 PM)WhoCares Wrote: I'll take you up on it!
Here's mine: http://royalroadl.com/fiction/6356
You don't have a lot of chapters up yet though, so tell me when you think you have enough up for me to review it. I'll review it as soon as you PM me.

Yeah, it's under construction due to the feedback I've received from others more recently. Very helpful stuff so far. I'll give yours a read tomorrow evening Very Happy
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#4
I have read the first chapter, I put my amateurish comment on that chapter.
Read my fiction Downloaded, you won't regret it... I hope.
It is a SciFi + Fantasy Adventure. 
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#5
I have plans to write a full review, as well as make lengthy comments on each individual chapter. I have a lot of feedback to offer that I think will help you. However, I'm not sure if I should wait until after you upload the rest of the chapters. It also seems that you're making edits to what is currently uploaded, and I don't know if my intended comments are already being addressed or not.
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#6
(16-01-17, 11:42 PM)Nereid Wrote: I have plans to write a full review, as well as make lengthy comments on each individual chapter. I have a lot of feedback to offer that I think will help you. However, I'm not sure if I should wait until after you upload the rest of the chapters. It also seems that you're making edits to what is currently uploaded, and I don't know if my intended comments are already being addressed or not.

Send me a direct message on what you think should be addressed and I can at least let you know if later down in the story, certain things are explained or certain chapters will eventually see fixes. That way I'm not wasting your time. Thank you btw Very Happy
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