The Life of Demon Empress Siamara

#1
Ello Ello everyone.

I'm a bit new to the forums, so forgive me if I make any mistakes.

Title: The Life of Demon Empress Siamara

Author: DCThanatos (Assisted by two people named scales and merp-merp)

Synopsis: 


When an average human girl, who only does everything in balance, and moderation is killed by mistake, she is confronted by God to give her another chance. However, this is no normal reincarnation, he gives her an offer, “if you are able to survive in your new life for 500 years, I will allow you to ascend to godhood.”

With this, we follow Siamara’s life on her path to ascending to godhood. But make no mistake, 500 years is a long time for a lot to happen.


Warning: Contains Profanity and Gore

Tags: LitRPG, Fantasy, Action

Link: http://royalroadl.com/fiction/10183

RE: The Life of Demon Empress Siamara

#2
I was bored, so I decided to give it a spin. The story itself could potentially be interesting. The grammar is not perfect, but the author has no problems communicating what is going on, so no big problems there. The writing is very much so-so, it's not atrocious but it's most certainly not good. However, over these first chapter there has been improvement, so I expect the quality will more or less be at 'good' somewhere around chapter 20-30. So if you're bored, give this web novel a shot.

Also Author, if you are reading this. Don't call it "the month of strong sun" instead of June or similar stuff. I get what you're trying, but seriously, don't. Just call the months the same as they are here on Earth.
Trainee crazy cat lady.

RE: The Life of Demon Empress Siamara

#3
'MulDaya' pid='820846' dateline='1485290565' Wrote: I was bored, so I decided to give it a spin. The story itself could potentially be interesting. The grammar is not perfect, but the author has no problems communicating what is going on, so no big problems there. The writing is very much so-so, it's not atrocious but it's most certainly not good. However, over these first chapter there has been improvement, so I expect the quality will more or less be at 'good' somewhere around chapter 20-30. So if you're bored, give this web novel a shot.

Also Author, if you are reading this. Don't call it "the month of strong sun" instead of June or similar stuff. I get what you're trying, but seriously, don't. Just call the months the same as they are here on Earth.

RE: The Life of Demon Empress Siamara

#4
'DCThanatos' pid='820903' dateline='1485446280' Wrote:
'MulDaya' pid='820846' dateline='1485290565' Wrote: I was bored, so I decided to give it a spin. The story itself could potentially be interesting. The grammar is not perfect, but the author has no problems communicating what is going on, so no big problems there. The writing is very much so-so, it's not atrocious but it's most certainly not good. However, over these first chapter there has been improvement, so I expect the quality will more or less be at 'good' somewhere around chapter 20-30. So if you're bored, give this web novel a shot.

Also Author, if you are reading this. Don't call it "the month of strong sun" instead of June or similar stuff. I get what you're trying, but seriously, don't. Just call the months the same as they are here on Earth.


I believe you forgot to include your reply.
Trainee crazy cat lady.

RE: The Life of Demon Empress Siamara

#5
Many apologies, I was typing on my phone, so it must have screwed it up. Let me try and remember the original message...

Thank you for your criticism. As far as grammar goes, I have been having my chapters proofread and edited past chapter 4, but I have not had the previous chapters completely proofread and edited yet. Also I will take the suggestion and just use the regular month names, since it more or less could get confusing.

RE: The Life of Demon Empress Siamara

#6
'DCThanatos' pid='820929' dateline='1485480347' Wrote: Many apologies, I was typing on my phone, so it must have screwed it up. Let me try and remember the original message...

Thank you for your criticism. As far as grammar goes, I have been having my chapters proofread and edited past chapter 4, but I have not had the previous chapters completely proofread and edited yet. Also I will take the suggestion and just use the regular month names, since it more or less could get confusing.


Phones truly are devils. And yeah, exactly the confusing part is the main reason for my suggestion.

Best of luck with writing your fiction. If I remember it I'll make a review once there's a bit more to go on, if you want.
Trainee crazy cat lady.