Need tips, tricks and advice

#1
Hi i am currently in the higher end of Australian Secondary school years (10-12) and i just started writing a novel after reading Don't Fear the Reaper by Schurmwalz i think his name is. It was one of my favourite novels of its genre (fantasy) although i preferred Raymond .E. Feist's works because of their amazing combination of descriptive language, pace and a fairly easy to grasp style of writing that made even the complex magic expositions in some of the books interesting and engrossing. 

I have currently written the prologue and 3 chapters of the book after going on a 4 hour grind session taking about an hour to an hour and a half each chapter excluding the proof reading i did of the whole thing after i finished chapter 3. 

Back to the point... I have uploaded my prologue and am currently waiting for an admin to approve before it is released into the world of RRL. Is it possible if some people could read it and give me a short reveiw of how it is. I have proof read everything once already not including my habit of proof reading paragraphs the minute i press the enter key. 


I feel like an objective look at my novels prologue and some tips, tricks and advice will help me develope the novel in a good way. By the way i am a MASSIVE bookworm and have read series like Raymond .E. Fiests ENTIRE COLLECTION (except for the 3 Jimmy the hand side stories :( and other famous series that are done by apparently amazing writers like:

Lord of the Rings and the Hobbit (read these when i was 13, read again about 6 months ago aswell)
Harry Potter (when i was 10, 12 and even just finished last month for third time)
Various different books in the Culture series by Ian banks
Maps in a mirror volume 2 by Orson Scott Card

I have also read some older books like Brave New World and also have 1984 to read aswell once i finish the books im on right now.

So any advice after people have read my novel will help. Even some general tips and tricks will help me more than even i expect. Thanks if you do reply. if not that's fine.
The name is Great isn't it?
WRONG! Its the Worst Name Ever ain't it Razz

Anyways. no books atm. currently going to rehab to get rid of my chronical illness known as Procrastinitus.

RE: Need tips, tricks and advice

#2
'Tanaka Tomoyuki' pid='823720' dateline='1493486375' Wrote: It would be a lot more helpful if you could link your novel in your post, or at least have it in your signature. Thanks.

Ohh sorry lol. its 
http://royalroadl.com/fiction/11685
and ill add it to my signature and stuff later oops.
The name is Great isn't it?
WRONG! Its the Worst Name Ever ain't it Razz

Anyways. no books atm. currently going to rehab to get rid of my chronical illness known as Procrastinitus.

RE: Need tips, tricks and advice

#4
I read Magician: Apprentice 25 years ago, and can still recall the protagonist's name was Pug. This is by way of saying names are important. When you go back and edit, make sure we are seeing the story of "Corvin," not "the man."

Another thing that might draw the reader in is seeing Corvin's predicament in specifics. "Corvin was running for his life" is pretty good. But if we learn in the first line that Corvin is barely 20 metres from the safety of his hidey-hole but is slowing because of the poison in his system, it immediately sets up tension: will he or won't he make it to his home in time?

Brandon Sanderson has stated that story is more important than the technical aspects of writing. Still, it helps to sharpen one's ability in that area. It might be instructive to look at some resources on comma use, particularly in avoiding constructing run-on sentences.

You're doing great so far. Keep it up, and improve as you go.
She's a VRMMORPG player on a mission: Granny God-mode
"Old age and treachery always overcomes youth and skill" -Proverb

RE: Need tips, tricks and advice

#5
thanks for the advice. I am planning on writing some other short series that are like 30 chapters or so just to improve. Then when i feel my skills are good enough im probably going to do a complete re write or edit a bunch to make it  flow better and remove as many flaws as possible.
Thanks for the advice
WorstnameEver
The name is Great isn't it?
WRONG! Its the Worst Name Ever ain't it Razz

Anyways. no books atm. currently going to rehab to get rid of my chronical illness known as Procrastinitus.