Scion of the Void: A (light) LitRPG Fantasy story. Criticism of any kind welcome.

#1
Synopsis: What happens when a retired Sailor, avid gamer, Player versus Player nut and an H.P. Lovecraft fan all rolled into a man with slight psychopathic tendencies gets brought to a world of fantasy with role-playing elements?
Chaos, absolute bloody chaos.
Join Jake as he attempts to find his way in a brand new world filled with elves, dragons, and all manner of strange and magical creatures, all the while he butchers and slaughters his way to power. Can he make it, or will he be brought down by the darkness inside of him?

How's it going, people of the forums. I've been meaning to get around to putting my story on this, but I continually got distracted. But, here it is. The story contains blood, gore, violence, swearing (LOTS of swearing) and so on. So if you are offended by that, I would not suggest reading this one (there is no sexual stuff going on, though. I have no faith in myself for writing a good sex scene, so I won't even try). The light LitRPG in the title of this post refers to that there are LitRPG elements that we all know and love, but it is far more focused on the journey rather than the gameplay elements (mostly because I tend to forget to put them in, and it's been too long for me to go back and change it).

As I put in the title, I want and need criticism. As this is my first attempt at any form of writing, I would love it if you guys gave me some feedback on what you liked/disliked about my story, so that I can make it better for everyone that graces my page. If you want to give me some of that tasty criticism, you can either post it on this thread, on the chapter that you have a problem/really like (I normally check daily, so I should see it) or you can shoot me a PM. The more criticism that I get, the better the story will be.

Thank you for your time, and I hope that you have a good day/night.