RE: Can you review this for me

#4
He stretched his arms, way up into the clouds, although it was for naught the clouds couldn't be tasted by the hands of a mortal with a physical body. Any mortal would phase right through clouds no matter where you find them. They were intangible that is what it meant to seek the heavens. An impossible feat, yet people always yearn for it because it is a goal worthy of the stakes.

Reaching the clouds would mean that they stood where no one else could because they put in the work they achieved the impossible.
They would become an impossibility, the unlikely becoming themselves intangible even though you can always see them doesn't mean that you can beat them as mortal as they seem. They were your better, that is why you better have a grandiose dream.

The moment that your dream is realized you simply won't be a mortal, you will be heaven-defying. the same as a cloud always sought never reached, always in sight.
Currently leveling up my writing abilities will release a new story soon.

RE: Can you review this for me

#5
I very much enjoy what you wrote, and feel tempted to steal that xD

But it does not feel what my mc is aiming for, besides that he is a child, not reincarnated !

So i try to keep it simple.

He has no idea about mortality, no idea about immortals. The only things he knows are the ones his grandfather told him about. He grasps for the clouds, not knowing he can not touch them. Only to imagine he could actually reach them and fly. His idea of the world is narrow minded, and it will open up to him, point by point.

( I choose this start for myself. i will try to improve as writer, while my mc improves in the story.)