Reviews for Suzerain

#1
I've been working on something new, and you know how you get when you think you have a good idea, but you're the only one who thinks that. I'm in desperate need of a review mates, not just you random yapping but something useful something I can grow on. Don't worry about hurting what little emotions I have left I truly will value a professional opinion, besides, my own voice is too optimistic and somehow I can feel my conscience snickering in the dark recess of my mind. 

Your words will be pondered profusely, so click the link and tell me what's on your mind.



Suzerain: Chapter-1 "Sour Problems but Sweet Tobago."


    • Quote:“To defeat evil, I must become a greater evil”

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RE: Reviews for Suzerain

#2
Synopsis fixing:
~What do you do when the world turns upside-down?

What do you do when all you know changes in the blink of an eye?
One of tTwo things:, you wait and die miserablye, or you adapt.
Gaia has awoken, the Asurion Flow has grown from a trickle to a roar. What we call mMagic has returned to the world and it has changed the world into what seems like a game. Glowing holographic boxes materialised out of thin air, monsters plagued the streets, the Olympians and the Titans are at feud, the fragile peace between them is crumbling. It is no understatement that the world's gone mad.
Gaia's chosen children have been given immense power, but it comes at a price, they must either fight or discover a faith far worst than death.
"It was just a game, however extraordinary. Few people around the world had access to it, but each and every player loved this game, but one night to the dismay of many, it just vanished without a trace. The day after started like your average ordinary day, there were no signs of the impending doom, no eeriness in the air.
But even if the world knew what was to come, nothing would've prepared us for this, one message in a holographic blue screen and the world changed forever." a quote? who's quote?

Be warned, the stories of their lives are not for the faint of heart.
Dare to read?~
This is a slow-paced litRPG that fucosesfocuses on city building and strategy where the world turns into a game, although there will be a large amount of action and combat scenes similar to the usual survival based litRPG some are accustomed to, this novel is dark and contains much-twisted morality, traumatising content, disturbing horrific and detailed gore scenes and some explicit sexual scenes.
I would love readers opinions and welcome constructive criticism so take a read then tell me what's on your mind
Thank you.


Impression(based on synopsis):
To summarize: my best guess is that there is a magical apocalypse with Greek Mythology Gods being the cause.
I have no idea what an Asurion Flow is but I assume readers will learn VERY quickly if they dive into the prologue or first chapter.
I assume the readers will be following the lives of "Gaia's chosen children", but it is unclear.


Chapter one:
I was going to read and comment on part of the first chapter, but my attention span can't stay focused with "just another boring day" stuff. The best way to keep my attention is for the POV character to have some sort of conflict with either someone or something that's been there for a while... and they finally do something about it (a silly nickname problem that they don't really care for isn't enough of a hook for me, haha).