Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#1
I'm currently looking for stories with an underdog protagonist. Everyday guys who get into situation over their head and try to find their way out (and potentially save the world in the process).

It'd be pretty important that they don't get randomly powerful. Someone who tries to survive/master their fantasy/science fiction world without going xianxia in the process. Basically stories where the protagonist kinda sucks and where that's not just going to change 5 chapters in.

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#2
Hey! I'm not usually the self-promoting type, but check out the link in my signature. I have the sort of sucky MC you're looking for.
He goes from all powerful demon lord, to the weakest guy around. The System wipes select memories to make sure he can't rely on past experience to get strong quickly, which has the unfortunate side effect of enhancing his naivety.
Anyway, give it a shot and let me know what you like or dislike about story!

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#4
'SeaGangster' pid='827421' dateline='1503688960' Wrote: Hey! I'm not usually the self-promoting type, but check out the link in my signature. I have the sort of sucky MC you're looking for.
He goes from all powerful demon lord, to the weakest guy around. The System wipes select memories to make sure he can't rely on past experience to get strong quickly, which has the unfortunate side effect of enhancing his naivety.
Anyway, give it a shot and let me know what you like or dislike about story!

Well, the premise was rather interesting, but it's not really what I was looking for.

I'm looking for stories where the protagonist is just one among many. Not a story where the protagonist has a weak starting point, but then evolves into a badass of badasses.

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#5
'Beyogi' pid='827445' dateline='1503766514' Wrote:
'SeaGangster' pid='827421' dateline='1503688960' Wrote: Hey! I'm not usually the self-promoting type, but check out the link in my signature. I have the sort of sucky MC you're looking for.
He goes from all powerful demon lord, to the weakest guy around. The System wipes select memories to make sure he can't rely on past experience to get strong quickly, which has the unfortunate side effect of enhancing his naivety.
Anyway, give it a shot and let me know what you like or dislike about story!

Well, the premise was rather interesting, but it's not really what I was looking for.

I'm looking for stories where the protagonist is just one among many. Not a story where the protagonist has a weak starting point, but then evolves into a badass of badasses.

Hey! Thanks for the review. I'll keep your criticisms in mind when I start on my rewrite. Just out of curiosity, how far did you end up getting? I only ask because at the current point in the story, the MC isn't much of a badass.

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#6
'SeaGangster' pid='827447' dateline='1503768736' Wrote:
'Beyogi' pid='827445' dateline='1503766514' Wrote:
'SeaGangster' pid='827421' dateline='1503688960' Wrote: Hey! I'm not usually the self-promoting type, but check out the link in my signature. I have the sort of sucky MC you're looking for.
He goes from all powerful demon lord, to the weakest guy around. The System wipes select memories to make sure he can't rely on past experience to get strong quickly, which has the unfortunate side effect of enhancing his naivety.
Anyway, give it a shot and let me know what you like or dislike about story!

Well, the premise was rather interesting, but it's not really what I was looking for.

I'm looking for stories where the protagonist is just one among many. Not a story where the protagonist has a weak starting point, but then evolves into a badass of badasses.

Hey! Thanks for the review. I'll keep your criticisms in mind when I start on my rewrite. Just out of curiosity,  how far did you end up getting? I only ask because at the current point in the story, the MC isn't much of a badass.
I read the story to its end. The main issue with it is that you've got a bunch of very interesting concepts and ideas, but they don't mesh well together. A story that looked very interesting at the beginning turned out to be just another power level diary.

Basically:

You've got a pretty dark world, but it affects the protagonist little and even then only as an obstacle not a real problem.
You've got a special snowflake system for the protagonist.
You've got an in theory interesting system for the magic powers.
You've got a mary sue protagonist reduced to a level one rat.

The problem is these 4 components don't mesh well.

If you removed the darkness of the world and the magic worldbuilding in favour of the GMs just fucking with a Mary Sue this could be hilarious crack. Like having him pick seemingly overpowered evolutions that just fuck him over again in new and innovative ways, while still being enough of a Sue to get out of the situation again. Basically a race between the MCs Sueness and the GMs "rocks fall, you mutate into a tentacle monster".

The other option would have been to not have an evolution system and have a former Gary Stue/Mary Sue deal with the fact that the world they reside in now is a shithole and they have no plot armor anymore, make them struggle and fight the injustices to become a real hero in an arc of character growth.

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#10
'forgiuse' pid='827443' dateline='1503763739' Wrote: I'm sure you'll love my story :D. The MC does have some lucky break here and there to survive his ordeal, but ultimately he's on the lower end of the power spectrum :D.
I'll check it out. Sorry, I kinda missed it/confused it with the poster before you for some reason.

Edit: Alright, had a look at it. The concept is a pretty standard ZnT copy. Only he's no summoned by wizards, but by demons who are apparently warring against humans but seem to basically be humans.

The MC is a heir of a Zaibatsu summoned to a fantasy realm. He also comes off as rather stupid and childish. Seriously, not giving your real name, but calling yourself Akuma (Demon)?! Despite all things to the contrary, I think he's still in the grasp of eight grader syndrome. He can't take anything serious, even when interrogated with his life on the line. He seems to be a total idiot in a rather obnoxious way.

To summarize this story seems to be about a class clown summoned into a fantasy realm clowning around using Japanese cultural references and bad grammar. Considering the other reviews it doesn't look like it gets much better.
'FLESHNIK' pid='827698' dateline='1504886137' Wrote: How To Avoid Death On A Daily Basis
I read (started to read) that already, it's just that mooderino's characters are utterly unlikable evil little shits. Real teenagers are admittedly pretty bad, but mooderino produces caricatures whose only good side is that their cynicism can be funny on the rare occasions where it's not just pathetic.

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#11
'Beyogi' pid='827716' dateline='1504951287' Wrote: To summarize this story seems to be about a class clown summoned into a fantasy realm clowning around using Japanese cultural references and bad grammar. Considering the other reviews it doesn't look like it gets much better.


I'm pretty sure things are bound to change after 62 chapters :D.

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#12
'Tanaka Tomoyuki' pid='827729' dateline='1504979791' Wrote:
'forgiuse' pid='827718' dateline='1504954898' Wrote: I'm pretty sure things are bound to change after 62 chapters :D.

If you take 62 chapters to change the protagonist from being a class clown in a Zero no Tsukaima rip-off and people who are being called demons so that they can be different from humans but are actually just the same as humans, then you're probably doing something really wrong.

Oh...I remember reading your story. It has a good premise, but it got boring because of all the monologue and info dumps. But you did well in trying to establish a more realistic approach, I guess? And it's different from the usual special snowflakes and overpowered protagonist stories, so props for that. I found the characters annoying, though, especially that demon princess.

I read it because I was intrigued by your cover (that's a really nice cover!), but the info dump and countless monologues kind of turned me off.

I'm sure these things take times. Rome wasn't built in a day, of course. Most of the bulk of my story lies in the second Arc, where things no longer stay as your usual magic high school drama. I admit the first part is faulty, but necessary to build up for what comes after. I do understand if there are people who lack the patience to follow through, but I guess you can't please everyone :D. Most choose to put everything in their disposal at their first steps, introducing gimmicks, reinforcing them and hook the readers, only to lack the fuel to burn further without proper preparation. I simply chose to do the opposite, building up things first, then let it out in one strike leading to a climax.  The bad reviews I have, the earliest ones, were made during the time I was still struggling with the earlier chapters until the second arc arrives, but when it reaches that point, it nets me the few good reviews I have, I guess it's proof that this method does work somewhat, but not very efficient for casual readers.

Thanks you for reading anyway. If you can pull it through to the latest chapters, maybe you could change your mind about that :D.

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#14
My story Luck Lockyer! You can say the protagonist's strength isn't in upfront combat, rather he seeks other ways to win against opponents. He is in over his head, that much is true. He's a capable person having to deal with problems as they come in different ways, but never does he overcome anything with sheer power. The powers he gets aren't random, his method that achieves those powers is explained thoroughly and even then not all of those powers are accessible to him.

All in all I think you'll enjoy the story, link down below.
Twoen - Only the best Litrpg this world will ever see.

Luck Lockyer - What can a man born of the undeground, of shady dealings and gritty bars, of blackmail and deception, achieve in a world of magic?

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#15
'MageOfSacks' pid='827763' dateline='1505106749' Wrote: My story Luck Lockyer! You can say the protagonist's strength isn't in upfront combat, rather he seeks other ways to win against opponents. He is in over his head, that much is true. He's a capable person having to deal with problems as they come in different ways, but never does he overcome anything with sheer power. The powers he gets aren't random, his method that achieves those powers is explained thoroughly and even then not all of those powers are accessible to him.

All in all I think you'll enjoy the story, link down below.
Hm... it's a decent story, but it's not really what I was looking for. I mean he literally gets random power ups :)

That said, you might want to change the blurp of your story. It's too long winded and seems to go mostly into how and why your MC is awesome. That would have immediately disqualified your story for further reading if not for what you wrote here.

Anyway, about the story. I'm not much a fan of the first chapter. His mobster background wasn't particularly good in creating sympathies for him. I was more "so your family got killed. He who lives by the sword dies by the sword."

The second chapter came off as a "MC fills out a choose your own adventure spreadsheet". That was super boring and I skimmed over most of it.

Afterwards things got more interesting, but your MC is still way overpowered. The good thing is he doesn't solve problems with violence, but he's also in no danger. It really feels a bit like "and then the wise adventuring traveler came and showed the Indians a few tricks". That's not necessarily a bad thing though, especially if you're going for the travel journal feel. In that case you might want to put more focus on the native cultures of the fantasy world. It'd be interesting to learn more about the living of the fish people.

I'd probably cut the prologue and chapter 1, and would have revealed the backstory while the main story advances.

Either way, I'd say your story is the classic powerful MC that's wise enough not to throw it around like a schoolyard bully. He's a bit out of his comfort zone, but it didn't feel like the problems so far where much of a challenge. I think less powers for the MC and more interaction between the worlds/knowledge/cultures would have been better. Overall a pretty interesting story.

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#17
'Beyogi' pid='827797' dateline='1505241750' Wrote:
'MageOfSacks' pid='827763' dateline='1505106749' Wrote: My story Luck Lockyer! You can say the protagonist's strength isn't in upfront combat, rather he seeks other ways to win against opponents. He is in over his head, that much is true. He's a capable person having to deal with problems as they come in different ways, but never does he overcome anything with sheer power. The powers he gets aren't random, his method that achieves those powers is explained thoroughly and even then not all of those powers are accessible to him.

All in all I think you'll enjoy the story, link down below.
Hm... it's a decent story, but it's not really what I was looking for. I mean he literally gets random power ups :)

That said, you might want to change the blurp of your story. It's too long winded and seems to go mostly into how and why your MC is awesome. That would have immediately disqualified your story for further reading if not for what you wrote here.

Anyway, about the story. I'm not much a fan of the first chapter. His mobster background wasn't particularly good in creating sympathies for him. I was more "so your family got killed. He who lives by the sword dies by the sword."

The second chapter came off as a "MC fills out a choose your own adventure spreadsheet". That was super boring and I skimmed over most of it.

Afterwards things got more interesting, but your MC is still way overpowered. The good thing is he doesn't solve problems with violence, but he's also in no danger. It really feels a bit like "and then the wise adventuring traveler came and showed the Indians a few tricks". That's not necessarily a bad thing though, especially if you're going for the travel journal feel. In that case you might want to put more focus on the native cultures of the fantasy world. It'd be interesting to learn more about the living of the fish people.

I'd probably cut the prologue and chapter 1, and would have revealed the backstory while the main story advances.

Either way, I'd say your story is the classic powerful MC that's wise enough not to throw it around like a schoolyard bully. He's a bit out of his comfort zone, but it didn't feel like the problems so far where much of a challenge. I think less powers for the MC and more interaction between the worlds/knowledge/cultures would have been better. Overall a pretty interesting story.

Yeah, I've been getting a lot of responses similar to that regarding the blurb, though most people who read say the story is great just change the blurb as it was intially a turn off. I'll probably get to that soon since it basically repeats what happens in the prologue. Apparently a lot of people are turned off by the mobster background, I just thought it'd be interesting to explore the possibilities someone experienced in those type of things could accomplish in a different environment that doesn't require them. I will take into account removing the prologue altogether though, that might be fun to write.

The power selection portion of stories were something that always excited me. I've gotten good feedback on that particular chapter. Sometimes they come off as a half-baked "here you go now start wrecking shit" but I swerved completely clear of that. I encourage you to read the whole thing and tell me again your thoughts. All your points are valid but that particular chapter was one I had the most fun writing. Since you said you skimmed over it i'd like your thoughts given the reasons behind why they are being granted powers. Or was it perhaps that power selection stories are simply a turn off for you in particular? You mentioned it was a "MC choose your own adventure" 

I will however disagree that he is overpowered. Sure, he's got a handful of powers. Nothing is destructive though, or actionable. You might have referred to his potential rather than his current standing in which case I have another point to make. You might view his powers as extremely powerful, but the one I believe you're probably thinking about will be something he will be learning, extremely and painfully slowly. I don't blame you for being disinterested though that's clearly my fault. But I do want to know exactly how you think he is overpowered. I did make him particularly clever and resourceful though. Perhaps his interactions with other characters make him seem too strong? None of his powers influence his potential in a fight however. Even as I write this some in particular are unavailable to him currently. In short I just want to clarify exactly how you thought he was overpowered.

Actually, I believe that's probably the reason why you think he's overpowered. I think i'm not making him work hard enough for his wins.

Again it is my fault as well. Looking back I feel I'll need to put things in perspective. Initially his arrival was rather calm, it was what I aimed for after all. But my goal is for the world to have beings far stronger than him. Your point that the MC was almost never in any danger was very valid. There was only one part in the beginning that dealt with poison but even then it was probably too easily fixed. 

So thank you for replying in the first place, reading it, and then giving me feedback. It was very thorough and helpful as well. Not many people would've taken the time and it was much appreciated.
Twoen - Only the best Litrpg this world will ever see.

Luck Lockyer - What can a man born of the undeground, of shady dealings and gritty bars, of blackmail and deception, achieve in a world of magic?

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#18
If you have time you might try my story about a high school girl who just wants to get her brother back from an unbeatable boss in a mining game. The character does level up but there is always a reason and she always has to work for it. I think this might be what you’re looking for. If not then I highly recommend the awesome Fred Vampire Accountant series by Drew Hayes.

https://royalroadl.com/fiction/13883/cold-steel-dig

RE: Stories with underdog protagonist that doesn't get random power-ups

#19
Your search reminds me of my hero academia, but sadly, Deku is still the Harry Potter of that universe.
A litrpg where the mc is a semi normal teenager who plays the game for escapism and it’s a hyper realistic mmo but he’s just experiencing the normal story mode that everyone does and isn’t that good at video games either would be nice to see. No SAO romantic story lines, realistic reactions to the feelings of throwing fireballs out your body, a balance of abusing cheat codes and then getting bored with it. Or Idk, let me know if you would like to help with story boarding some time; my articulation on forums is bad but i think you and i see art similarly. It would be nice to chat.