Need help on my pace and style.

#1
Hey people, I am a new writer trying to write out my imagination and get better at writing itself , but I currently have 2 major problems.

1.my pace.
I re-read my own chapters to make sure there is no plot-hole and stuff for the future events I have planned, but as I read I notice that the pace rushed from moving a to b. (A/B represents paragraph)

2.my style.
As I said before I am new writer and not a good one at that. So my style of writing is weird as I copy multiple styles for myself and I feel it not working.


I have tried thinking of solutions on my own especially for the pace as I practice writing new chapter but I can't fix them so please help with your suggestions.
To obtain true freedom is my goal!

Reaping pendant.
http://royalroadl.com/fiction/7249

RE: Need help on my pace and style.

#2
I can't specifically tell what you consider rushed in your writing, but slowing down the pacing is very much a "stop and smell the roses" approach.

In high-speed action scenes, it is appropriate to sketch things out in broad strokes, with little detail. You'll describe some of the combat moves, some flashes of pain, fear, or triumph, injuries, explosions, etc. You will not stop to detail the embroidery on somebody's clothes or the feeling of wind one somebody's skin.

However, a greater level of detail is necessary to create an immersive scene in slower-paced scene. Don't just write who does what. Describe the setting and the characters, include thoughts and emotions. Add more descriptors (but not too many). Write about all the senses, including smell, taste, and touch, which are often ignored for pure vision+hearing narration. You're not making a movie, you're writing, so don't limit yourself to what a movie can do.

As for settling into a style, that simply takes time and practice. When you read, pay attention to what you like and dislike, and when you write, pay attention to what works and doesn't work. There's no quick and easy way to settle into your own style. It's much like puberty that way.

RE: Need help on my pace and style.

#6
Paragraphs should flow logically from one to the next. Single line breaks (new line, but no empty line between paragraphs) are used when the point of view hasn't changed (for instance, staying with the same character or narration of setting) but some new action or perspective is being taken. Double line breaks are used when the point of view has changed or a significant time lapse has occurred, as well as to draw attention to particular lines of text.

Example: This sentence looks significant because of the double line break before and after.

Of course, this kind of line spacing refers to text where new paragraphs are indented. For writing without indents, every new paragraph needs a double line break, so you can do a triple line break (two empty lines in between) where double line breaks should go and double line breaks where single line breaks should go.

If you feel like your paragraphs are cutting into each other, it's probably because the breaks are in the wrong place. Make sure you finish a "thought" in each paragraph and only move on to the next paragraph when it's done.

RE: Need help on my pace and style.

#8
A quick example of my paragraphs cutting in to each other.

---------

"On your knees!" urrious commanded this time letting out his chakra through his body and onto indra.

Indra got into the motion of kneeling as the green aura surrounding urrious spread into him.

"That's right kneel you piece of shit." Urrious thought as enjoyed himself in watching indra kneel, "ah why did you stop!?" Urrious forehead wrinkled as he asked indra furiously when he saw indra stop moving.

------
Any advice or suggestions?
To obtain true freedom is my goal!

Reaping pendant.
http://royalroadl.com/fiction/7249

RE: Need help on my pace and style.

#9
Work on your grammar. People say it doesn't matter, but that's like saying the quality of the paint doesn't matter to an artist.

- Capitalize all your names
- Use commas
- Format thoughts differently from dialogue. I like to use italics, but some people use single quotation marks
- Use "as" less
- Don't repetitively use the same family of words ("knees", "kneeling", "kneel", "kneel" in four short paragraphs)

Quote:
"On your knees!" Urrious commanded, letting his chakra flow out of his body to overwhelm Indra.

Indra's legs began to buckle as Urrious' green aura spread over [or "seeped into"] him.

That's right, kneel, you piece of shit. Urrious smiled in malicious satisfaction, only to frown in confusion when Indra ceased to move.
"Ah! Why did you stop?" he demanded furiously.

RE: Need help on my pace and style.

#17
Erm what? You're going to need to be more specific. I'll answer what I think you're talking about, but I might be reading things wrong.

Sex, sure, why not. I definitely don't think it's necessary to write a good story, and that people should try writing non-mature stories more often. However, if two characters feel attraction towards each other, things happen. How detailed you want to be is up to you and your target audience.

Plot twists, depends. Everything needs to be properly foreshadowed, so that when you reveal the plot twist, the readers go, "I can't believe I didn't figure that out." Plot twists without proper forshadowing is "pulling stuff out of your a**" and not good writing.

Dunno what you mean by scamming.

RE: Need help on my pace and style.

#19
Erm, if your MC isn't smart enough normally to be scamming people, he/she shouldn't be scamming people because it's not realistic. If you want your MC to scam people, make his/her "usual" smart enough.

There's a lot of deep psychological stuff that goes into writing con artists. When they con people for large sums, they leave a trail of broken lives in their wake. There has to be deep denial or deep contempt for their victims for them to continue doing what they do.

RE: Need help on my pace and style.

#20
How do you do a time skip?
How do you get your not so smart mc become cunning by the time skip?
What's you opinion on time skip?

How would you write this,
A lustrous jewel-blue stream curved into a cave, illuminating the area blocking its way with blue light. The deeper it flowed, the steeper the walls of the cave become, and after a while it was met by a purple radiance. When the stream reached the purple light, the caves wall had already become flat up straight, and brimmed with purple crystals evidently the ones responsible for the purple light. The crystals changed into variety of color, the deeper the stream flowed and eventually gave off a dazzling rainbow light When the it reached the end of its journey ; flowing into a apple-green lake.
To obtain true freedom is my goal!

Reaping pendant.
http://royalroadl.com/fiction/7249