I'm apparently doing something wrong, no clue though

#1
So I have a story that's been in the making for almost four years now. I just recently began actually putting pen to paper (well fingers to keyboard.) I've posted seven chapters in the last five days. I was riding a high at first as I got two, five-star ratings, twelve or so followers and couple positive comments. In the last few days, I've noticed that of the 300 people that started on the prologue, only thirty or so continued on to the latest chapter.  There doesn't seem to be any acute drop off point. I've proofread the whole thing 6 times now, and while I'll admit I'm pretty shoddy at catching my own mistakes I can't pinpoint whatever is killing off my readers. I usually fly solo and this is my first post but after I, a grown ass, a married man, father of three, and combat veteran, found myself calling my mama at one in the morning. looking for reassurance that I'm not some kinda fuck up. For the love of vodka, I'd rather be back in Afghanistan. Respect to all you authors that regularly go through this emotional shit-storm. Please Help, I'll be waiting (im)patiently with the previously mentioned beverage.

https://royalroadl.com/fiction/12093

RE: I'm apparently doing something wrong, no clue though

#2
'mrfuzzyguy' pid='824572' dateline='1495872362' Wrote: So I have a story that's been in the making for almost four years now. I just recently began actually putting pen to paper (well fingers to keyboard.) I've posted seven chapters in the last five days. I was riding a high at first as I got two, five-star ratings, twelve or so followers and couple positive comments. In the last few days, I've noticed that of the 300 people that started on the prologue, only thirty or so continued on to the latest chapter.  There doesn't seem to be any acute drop off point. I've proofread the whole thing 6 times now, and while I'll admit I'm pretty shoddy at catching my own mistakes I can't pinpoint whatever is killing off my readers. I usually fly solo and this is my first post but after I, a grown ass, a married man, father of three, and combat veteran, found myself calling my mama at one in the morning. looking for reassurance that I'm not some kinda fuck up. For the love of vodka, I'd rather be back in Afghanistan. Respect to all you authors that regularly go through this emotional shit-storm. Please Help, I'll be waiting (im)patiently with the previously mentioned beverage.

https://royalroadl.com/fiction/12093

Don't worry about it, it's normal. View counts naturally drops from chapter 1 to chapter 2 and so on. check my example:

https://goo.gl/photos/cjF5xJaG7XZxbVYt6

People are all over the world and they have things to do. Those who read your prologue probably hasn't seen your update yet or forgot about it. There are many factors why people stop reading your work, and proofreading is just one of them. Another factor is how fast you publish your story. That is why it is not recommended to do a chapter dump in one go. It is better to do one chapter publish every day or every two days. But that is only if you have extra chapters, if not and you write "On the fly" then publish it when you are most comfortable. doing speed Publishing will also have a detrimental effect on your readers because the quality of your work will go down.

Don't give up, just keep writing. Try to remember that this is a marathon and not a sprint.  Just keep thinking about your story and how it will progress, then check your spelling and grammar every now and then. Then again keep writing, forget about the views for now. It's like grinding. For me, the best satisfaction I get is the improvement of my work according to ME. Not someone else judgment but mine alone. And then, almost as an afterthought, the views will trickle in. 

Good luck, and again keep writing!

:GG:
Check my fictions
"Invincible"
"Gamer of the Dead"
And the newest  "Slam No Basuke"

RE: I'm apparently doing something wrong, no clue though

#4
You have a case of BAD READER EXPECTATION management. Take a look at your story without being logged in.

The Teaser/Summary, for illustration purposes only, skip reading it.

"The air itself burned. All was ash and dust. The remains of his home, his friends, his loved ones, his comrades, his enemies, mixed and intermingled. One spec of ash indistinguishable from the next. He had fallen to his knees, among the aftermath of the ruin of his own making. He no longer knew how long it had been since he'd fallen, how long he remained beyond everything else he ever knew. The ashes of his life coated his body, making him appear as a gray uneven statue, a monument to his own sorrow. "


That was what I read/saw as first impression before I clicked on the Read Fiction button.
The story Summary/teaser, without opening the extended text, led me to initally believe that it has a male MC. reinforced that expectation by the first chapter "The End". Is this going to be a revenge type or Icarus type of story? I am excited, it is well written and I am in the mood for more.

Then you suddenly switch to a female MC. That was a very hard yank out of literary dreamland, because the atmosphere, the images and expecations build up were destroyed in a instance. So I put your story on the read later rooster in my library. I am aparrently not the only one.

Possible Solutions:
Get rid of the first chapter. It serves no purpose other then misleading reader expectations, because you are introducing an unnamed male MC who has lost everything. The he vanishes. Here, Saora should have been introduced.

Start with the "Awakening" chapter as 1st chapter!
(autocorrect "laymen terms" instead of "lamence terms" btw)

Write a new teaser, showing clearly that Saora is the MC!
Maybe a teaser along the lines of:
Saora jerks up, boots are hammering against her door. The morning sun is falling into the barracks, horses can be heard neighing in the courtyard. Damn, I am late...

Advise: Use google fu to find some common tips on how to write a good teaser. That is the first I read of your story, next to your cover picture and the tags.

Overall, your story is solid and well written. Just fix the expectation management and readership retention should tick up.

RE: I'm apparently doing something wrong, no clue though

#5
It's very hard to get people into a new series. Especially if you're new blood. You either have to capture their imagination with the premise or you have to tough it out until you make it. Until then, pretty much everything kills readers motivation to give your fiction a chance.

Personally, I don't understand the premise having read the blurb. My guess is that it's about a forgotten legendary warrior who lost everything and awakens in a new world thousands or even millions of years later. That's just my guess. And from reading other people's comments, that doesn't seem to be the case which is kinda off-putting. I can only think, I'll give it another chance if I see it make it to the best rated list with a good score average.

No offense intended, but as far as people who have trouble getting into new fictions, I'm about at the top of the list.

My quick glance at your chapter did look quite promising. It definitely looks like you know how to write.

RE: I'm apparently doing something wrong, no clue though

#7
This is absolutely, perfectly normal. Reading the prologue online is kinda like picking up a book in a bookstore. All people will examine it, read the prompt, look on the cover, take a peak inside. Most of them will put it back onto the shelf and move on to the next book, while some will take it to the cashier.

This is exactly the same thing, and it says perfectly nothing about your writing ability. People do the exact same thing with Noble Prize winners and international best-sellers. It's simply a part of the publishing deal, whatever the hope. Hold tight and don't lose hope! :)
"There are two kinds of people: Those who create to become someone great, and those who become someone great to create."
- Katherine Sun