RE: Feedback wanted

#2
After the advent of high-level, AI and the last Cyborg war, each citizen of the United World Council provided an APRIL (Artificial Personal Research Intelligent Library) to each person. The dummied down AI was injected into every recorded birth with nanobots to help integrate with the government-controlled Virtual Reality and Augmented Reality. 


Eighteen-year-old, Caden was finishing up his 4th Ph.D. on restricted technology when an accident sends him back in time 10,000 years into the ancient American continents past. Stuck in time before civilization's formed, Caden must find a way to survive and with luck return home.[/color]

El Dorado follows Caden's journey through time as he comes to grips with his new world and reality. Is he stuck in Earth's past or some alternate past? Join Caden in his adventures.

How dare you write something creative and original, idbugm? You force me to read it and give my opinion.

EDIT:
I'm done, m8. I've checked it.

Pretty good. The only critique that I have is that the world is very interesting but maybe it is not explained in the wisest manner. There are a lot of blocks of 'tell don't show' exposition and because we are dealing with a time travel novel, I don't know if all the exposition will be relevant if we'll spend most of our time in the past. But I'm sure you'll show why throughout the novel.

The grammar is very good. I did not see a single mistake.
JUST DO YOURSELF A FAVOUR AND CHECK OUT Glitch!
It is funny, has colourful tables (the wonders of technology!) and art!
https://i.imgur.com/Das02fT.png

RE: Feedback wanted

#3
CHAPTER 5 UPLOADED

I've uploaded some new chapters. I'm always open to feedback on my first drafts. Please let me know where the book can be improved or if I missed something. Thanks to those who have left comments already. The book is almost done, and I'll try to upload new chapters frequently after each writing session. Thanks.

RE: Feedback wanted

#4
I respect Media in Sanity's opinion, so I'll just have to check this one out based on his recommendation. It sounds super interesting. +1
Check out my two stories if you've got the time.
• Whatever your heart desires, whether it be wealth, power, fame, or infamy, only those who've earned it themselves may claim it. Embrace your angels, let loose your demons, or simply wipe the slate clean. Only the strong survive within the Ether.
Join Experiment XZ as he embarks on his journey in order to find out who he truly is, what awaits him as he ascends, or descends into Ether.
Embrace the Ether


• A shroud of darkness hides the night. The sounds of battle echoes throughout. Steel on steel, clashing in the unknown. A clash of death, uncaring and unjust. A band of mercenaries surround a mysterious figure clad in ragged black robes. Beneath its weathered cowl, two bloodshot eyes pierce the darkness. Finally, they’ve found him.