RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#2
Step 1 - Be attractive.

Attractiveness is a combination of physical and social desirability. If you are fat, lose weight. If you don't exercise at all, start at least taking walks. Maintain good hygiene, and make sure your clothing is clean and appropriate for your age.

There's also social attractiveness. Women like partners with cars and a reliable job, or who are going through the proper schooling/training. Women want partners who they can introduce to their friends or co-workers without feeling embarrassment because their social skills are too lacking.

If you don't have social skills... learn. You can learn to have a basic conversation with strangers. This is going to help you with step 2.

Step 2 - Find a woman you're attracted to and try to engage with her

For this step, it helps if you have a social life. If you don't have a social life, you might want to work on that one first before you tackle the 'get a girlfriend' thing.

Find a woman you're attracted to, have a conversation with her. Find out her interests and see if you two share any interest. If you have shared interests, ask her if she'd like to do a shared activity based on that interest.

If you don't have a shared interest that you can turn into a shared activity, ask her if she'd like to meet you for tea/coffee sometimes. (Yes, you will be paying for this, because it's a date and you're asking)

Step 3 - Be a pleasant person to hang around on your date

Eventually, you'll complete step 2 to your satisfaction (you'll get a 'yes.') You will now go on a date.

A date is when you attempt to look and act your best. This doesn't mean wearing a suit and dosing yourself with five layers of axe bodyspray or whatever it is some dudes like to swim in. This means looking nice and trying your best to be a pleasant person to be around. Remember, your date is not your psychiatrist - they're not interested in how much your boss/family/ex/job/mental health sucks.

Rather, show an interest in the other person, and try to remain positive as you get to know one another. Talk about your likes. Share happy stories. Share your personal aspirations.
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RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#4
Step 1 - Be attractive. 

Don't think that's happening, m8. Is there a way to get around this without cutting some fat off the diet?

I see some ugly guys who have GFs. What goes on in there?

There's also social attractiveness. Women like partners with cars and a reliable job, or who are going through the proper schooling/training. 

Oh, ****.

Step 2 - Find a woman you're attracted to and try to engage with her

For this step, it helps if you have a social life. 



Can my friend have an online social life? I mean, all his friends are in his PC because he hasn't left his bedroom for a couple months. And because normies are noisy and annoying. 


Find a woman you're attracted to, have a conversation with her. Find out her interests and see if you two share any interest. If you have shared interests, ask her if she'd like to do a shared activity based on that interest.

Let's not get crazy.

Step 3 - Be a pleasant person to hang around on your date



I'm the guy from Dostoiévski's Notes from Underground. My edginess just makes people around me too uncomfortable.

A date is when you attempt to look and act your best. This doesn't mean wearing a suit and dosing yourself with five layers of axe bodyspray or whatever it is some dudes like to swim in. This means looking nice and trying your best to be a pleasant person to be around. Remember, your date is not your psychiatrist - they're not interested in how much your boss/family/ex/job/mental health sucks.

:(

Rather, show an interest in the other person, and try to remain positive as you get to know one another. Talk about your likes. Share happy stories. Share your personal aspirations.

That's gonna be hard.

Damn, it's too hard to get a gf.

Thank you for your insight, mate. I have a couple questions:

Why do girls like bad guys? They don't have anything going for them and are clearly trouble.

Can I lie about what I'm studying / what is my job?

Politics. Should we talk about it? It is a pretty sensitive topic these days. Do you two need to agree with it?

Open relationships. Sometimes the girls don't like you enough to be exclusive. They'd rather have you and Chad as boyfriends. Do you think that is acceptable if you are a complete loser? I'd not do it but I see a lot of more beta guys accepting it these days.

What are the advantages that come with a gf? Because I co-, I mean, my friend could just stick with videogames and 2D waifus...
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RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#7
'Tanaka Tomoyuki' pid='830321' dateline='1511409256' Wrote: I just thought it was odd to refer to her as a "mate" but I'm not familiar with British slangs.
I know. I was exploiting your remark in order to make a funny quip about my struggle at even telling 'men' and 'women' apart, thus amusing the reader who will think of me as a person who watches an infamous type of internet video. You know the one...

I'll just call Reaver 'm9' instead of 'm8'. It is a gender neutral british slang.

It's better that she is female.

Thank you for the note.


'Lessa' pid='830285' dateline='1511362361' Wrote: Just be yourself. Why would you want to be involved in a relationship anyway?
I kind of want to give you reason.

Just a few more years and I'm off to Hogwarts to start my wizarding school.

Why should I give up my innocence?

Here's a funny meme that exemplifies Lessa's school of thought:
https://i.gyazo.com/bfec72976f2fe525df8b...nghttps://
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RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#8
'Media in Sanity' pid='830271' dateline='1511356155' Wrote: Thank you for your insight, mate. I have a couple questions:

Why do girls like bad guys? They don't have anything going for them and are clearly trouble.

Can I lie about what I'm studying / what is my job?

Politics. Should we talk about it? It is a pretty sensitive topic these days. Do you two need to agree with it?

Open relationships. Sometimes the girls don't like you enough to be exclusive. They'd rather have you and Chad as boyfriends. Do you think that is acceptable if you are a complete loser? I'd not do it but I see a lot of more beta guys accepting it these days.

What are the advantages that come with a gf? Because I co-, I mean, my friend could just stick with videogames and 2D waifus...

Not the same person, but maybe I can provide some insight of my own.

1. The same exact reason that guys are attracted to crazy chicks; sex appeal. Bad boys typically display a "fuck the rules" type of attitude that excites a lot of girls. They look at this guy and think, "Oh wow, he's such a rebel~" The girl thinks to herself that maybe she can change this bad boy--make him change because he's just so totally in love with her. Sometimes these relationships last and the two involved are genuinely happy together...but other times it goes about how you'd expect it to. Granted, not all girls fall for this crap--kind of like how not all guys are attracted to the girl that openly fawns over the time she castrated her ex after she caught him looking at porn.

2. That depends; how serious of a relationship are you looking for? If you aren't totally serious about her, then sure--go ahead and tell her you're a space pirate simply making a pit-stop on Earth because your ship was low on diesel fuel. If you are serious, then lying will royally screw you over, buddo.

3. LOL, fuck talking about politics with anyone these days. I mean...if you want a serious relationship, then maybe it would help to have a similar opinion about subjects like that. But really, you don't need to. As long as you aren't one of those people that gets obnoxiously preachy whenever somebody disagrees with you, then you'll be fine. Learn to have an open mind. If you're against abortion but she's not, listen to her. Don't judge her, but rather ask her to explain why she feels the way she does. Don't lash out at her. Just listen. Prove that not all people interested in politics are mouth-breathing neanderthals that shit themselves whenever they hear something they don't like, lol.

4. I've never been in a polygamous relationship, but one of my exes (who I'm still on good terms with, luckily) entered an open relationship about three or four years after we split up. From what I understand, it's not a matter of "not liking one significant other enough" at all. Rather it's about trust and freedom for all people involved. Far too often in monogamous relationships, both people are constantly wringing their hands with worry that their partner is out cheating on them. These relationships lack so much communication and trust that they eventually wither and die. In open relationships, there's never a worry about cheating because if you want to date another person, you can. You can even take your partner with you on your first date! Hell, if your partner digs the new person, they may want to date them too, lol. It's all a matter of preference in the end. Some people are okay with polygamy, some aren't. As for my thoughts on it, I'm completely indifferent. Then again, I'm very much anti-commitment, so my opinion doesn't truly matter. xD

5. You get laid sometimes. :P But all kidding aside, it depends on the kind of person you are. What do you want in a relationship? Do you want somebody to laugh with? To travel with? To grow old with? If you want things like this, you first gotta ask yourself a VERY important question; are you willing to love somebody's flaws? The idea of the perfect relationship is completely ludicrous because perfection, in itself, is non-existent. Nobody is perfect. No woman. No man. If you find a girl you're crazy for, be fully prepared to face her problems with her. If you are not willing to do this, then you're better off being single. If you are willing, then kudos to you.

Hope this helped a little! :D
"The others said that they saw a dog the size of a tree, but they didn't. Dogs are not as big as trees."
-Lisa, 5 years old.

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RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#9
my god man, here i was browsing through royaldroadL forums ( i do so once or twice a month) i came to the debate section and this is the first thing i see. This made me physically cringe so hard my body jumped up. Thank you.

Anyways, regarding this subject i am inexperienced, but i assume showing you are interested is a nessecary prequisite, after that i guess it depends on if the other person is interested as well. as for specific tips such as be funny or be this or say that, it all depends on the girl/boy involved, there is no one way or trick you can say/do that will guarantee the feelings will be mutual. and of course maintining personal hygiene, speaking clearly and being relaxed and straightforward (with your intentions that is) never hurt anyone.

RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#10
1. As SJ said, you need to be somewhat attractive. You don't have to be the most handsome guy; very few people (both men and women) end up having a really hot boyfriend/girlfriend. Most go for someone average. So if you are average or near average do not despair; what you must do, though, is to be somewhat fit and take care of your personal hygiene. By fit I do not mean going to gym (though if you do go to gum, good for you); I mean not eating junk food all the time, walking to school/work, etch. Basic stuff.


2. Socialize: the best way to meet a girl is to socialize in school/college/workplace/etch. Those are the best places to meet a girl, not in club or in some random place (at least most of the time).

3. Start (a bit) slowly at first: no asking for date the first time you meet her or telling her the first time you meet her that you like her. Talk to her, offer to go out for some coffee, see if you have common interests/get along. That way you can get to know that person a bit, and trust me that makes it much easier asking her out for a date. Though do not overdo it because at some point if you are too slow, she will think you more as a friend than a potential boyfriend. Balance is the best. 

4. Be confident. You have to believe in yourself. Or at least fake it a first. By confident I do not mean bold or 'bad boy', I simply mean someone who can talk/joke/have fun with a girl without feeling nervous/shy/etch. While this may sound simple, for some people who lack confidence doing those things is anything but simple. So be confident.

5. Try to be yourself. Aside from confidence (which is the one quality you really need), you do not have to fake some persona. Not only because it will be unfair to you, but also because it will be unfair to your girl (if she likes you in that case, she will like the persona you have created, not you). Not to say that most people who try to fake a 'cool' persona fail miserably. So, be yourself.  People tend to like those who are honest about themselves. If she doesn't like the real you, then you do not miss anything by not being in a relationship with that girl. Find a girl who likes the real you.

Bonus advice: In the meantime, do not despair; enjoy your time as a single. Being single can have many advantages and you should enjoy it while it lasts.
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RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#12
@christos

My single time has lasted some good decades, sir. I sure know about the advantages.

1. I always go for the cheeleader 'Knees of the Bees' female.

2. Socialize: the best way to meet a girl is to socialize

Oh no.

3. 3. Start (a bit) slowly at first: no asking for date the first time you meet her or telling her the first time you meet her that you like her.

That's a bit too risky. I might fall into the friendzone that many wizards regard as a land of peril and darkness from which they never left.

I think I should explicitly establish romantic interest from the beginning. I mean, won't the girl be thinking I have second intentions just for being a man and inviting her to drink coffee?

4. Don't worry, confidence won't be a problem. I always carry my katana around in case some Chad blocks my path and I must prove that I am an apprentice of Kishimoto Masashi.

5. Be yourself

This is an advice that I keep hearing, m9. Yet I've been myself for so long and no girls came.

Should I really strive to be myself even when it is clearly not working?

Thank you for the insights, m8.

xxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxxx

@HR-Kain

1) I see.

2) Lying is slightly better when I don't want the relationship to last, basically? But what about the ethics of it? Is it alright?

3) I mentioned politics because everyone around college age seems to take it seriously. Even to the point of cutting off people who disagree with them.

4) Hmm...

I'm a bit old school, I think.

5) I get it. I asked it mostly because I've never seen a single happy, functional relationship.

It just made me think if it is even worth it.
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RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#13
So much to write here. So, so much. Have no time or brain for write all the words.

You used the term "beta male." Avoid the toxic mentality of pickup artists and red-pillers.

Once you gain (or regain) a respect for women as people, talk to them (online at first) about stuff that's not sex.

Read The Outsider by Colin Wilson. Maybe also The Magus by John Fowles.
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RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#14
'David Penchyk' pid='830435' dateline='1511655864' Wrote: So much to write here. So, so much. Have no time or brain for write all the words.

You used the term "beta male." Avoid the toxic mentality of pickup artists and red-pillers.

Once you gain (or regain) a respect for women as people, talk to them (online at first) about stuff that's not sex.

Read The Outsider by Colin Wilson. Maybe also The Magus by John Fowles.

:-TsavKAnz-:

I don't think any females felt disrespected by a fun thread to discuss relationships, nor that I've showed lack of respect. :(

Outside of that, I like Colin Wilson's The Outsider. It's pretty interesting. You had it in sociology classes?
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RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#15
'Media in Sanity' pid='830439' dateline='1511662421' Wrote:
'David Penchyk' pid='830435' dateline='1511655864' Wrote: Once you gain (or regain) a respect for women as people


I don't think any females felt disrespected by a fun thread to discuss relationships, nor that I've showed lack of respect. :(

Outside of that, I like Colin Wilson's The Outsider. It's pretty interesting. You had it in sociology classes?

My reaction was a bit of a knee-jerk. I was just trying to point out what Tanaka articulated so well.

A prof may have recommended The Outsider. I read it to steer myself away from potentially suicidal despondence.
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"Old age and treachery always overcomes youth and skill" -Proverb

RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#16
Agree with Tanaka, although I may add that I can understand why someone may be disappointed by being in the 'friendzone'. Most of my friends are girls and I have no problem with that (since I do not view them as potential romantic partners but as friends only), but I was disappointed at first when a girl I liked 'friendzoned' me and viewed me only as a friend. I quickly got over it though and now we are still very good friends.

So, yes it can be disappointing at first, but you should just get over it and move on. It happens to everyone. I do not think that there are many people who have not been friendzoned at least once.

Generally speaking, unless you are really, really good looking or a very good talker, expect to be rejected the first couple of times. This ain't bad; you learn through experience. Before my first relationship, I had been rejected by like six or seven girls. But I did eventually find the 'right one' (even though that relationship did not last long, but still...).

So, be confident and keep trying. :)
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RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#17
Lets not just jump to being boyfriend/girlfriend with people. Try being their friend first, if you're end goal is just to get laid then go to a brothel or something. If you want a serious relationship, that shit takes time and effort.

take a breath, slow down, if your first thought is "yeah she's pretty I want her" nine times out of ten it's not going to work out because you're too desperate.

It may sound hypocritical to say don't be their friend with the end goal of getting close enough to ask them out, your goal is to see if you mesh well, if not try someone else.

Be polite, but don't be the generic fedora gentleman about stuff where they think by being nice all the time earn a them a little stamp on a reward scheme. The first part as well is to make yourself look presentable to people, all that means is a bare minimum of cut hair, gel/wax, shaved and clean fitted clothes.

You don't have to be attractive, you don't have to be physically fit.

tldr; For a good impression - clean and shaven.
For lasting relationship - open and honest.

Source - That's all I did to get my girlfriend who I've been with for almost two years.

RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#18
Lot's of good advice for you on this thread. All I can really add at this point is stay FAR away from redpill, Incels and all that garbage. That's just a lot of negativity that nobody needs in their life, least of all women. I, myself, am a pretty shy guy and hardly a great conversationalist when getting to know somebody new or spending one on one time with them for the first time.

If you're like me, don't do coffee or dinner. At least not at first. Nothing is worse than being trapped in a date where it is painfully obvious you guys have little to nothing in common but can't leave until you pay the bill or spent a polite amount of time there. Go do something you would enjoy doing on your own that you think they would like. The key part of that sentence is "THAT THEY WOULD LIKE." When I was in college, I saw a shocking amount of guys ask a girl over and then be surprised when she doesn't want to play video games with him and his bros and then immediately sleep with him.

Also, drop the Chad mentality. I've known several men who look like grumpkins but could pull bitches. I do not use that term lightly or mean any disrespect. I simply know no other way to describe it. The common factors between them was that they had a genuine interest in the girls as people and not sex objects, they knew how to be charming and make people laugh and above all, they were ambitious. Nobody looks at the Titanic and says: "That's the ship I want to sail on." You have to have your personal life in order before you can tie anybody else to it.

If all you're looking for is a quick roll in the hay, be upfront and know your audience. (Probably Tinder)

And ABOVE ALL remember the golden rule of interacting with women: If you wouldn't want another man to say/do something to you in prison, don't do it to a woman until you know she wants you to.
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RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#19
'Tanaka Tomoyuki' pid='830716' dateline='1512386042' Wrote: What are redpill, Incels and what's a Chad mentality?

Not sure about the first two, but I think the Chad mentality refers to the notion that women only like you if you’re a handsome douchebag.

I think, anyway.
"The others said that they saw a dog the size of a tree, but they didn't. Dogs are not as big as trees."
-Lisa, 5 years old.

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RE: How to get a girlfriend?

#20
'Tanaka Tomoyuki' pid='830716' dateline='1512386042' Wrote: What are redpill, Incels and what's a Chad mentality?

Hr-Kain is right about the Chad thing. An incel is a man who identifies as "Involuntarily celibate" and somehow this is the fault of women in general and the mythical "Chad" figure.

The Red pill a little bit better... I guess... here's an 'interesting' quote from their introduction page on reddit:"Feminism is a sexual strategy. It puts women into the best position they can find, to select mates, to determine when they want to switch mates, to locate the best dna possible, and to garner the most resources they can individually achieve."

It's basically a community devoted to "Sexual Strategy" It makes me itchy.
If you're into dark, low fantasy check out my book: Wings of Sorrow