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Please offer advice on my story

#1
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 At first, my fried and I were going to make this a fanfic, but eventually we decided to make into a story. I got two plot ideas for this story, I was hoping if you can tell which one you thought is better. I'll choose which story plot becomes the official plot, after I get some feedback.  How could I make these stories better?

Preview: Rulers and Conquest (Plot A):
In the VRMMO RPG Rulers and Conquest there's an item so powerful it can change the face of the game, but it's extremely expensive, this item is by far the most expensive item in the game. Thus for some players a vital goal of the game, is to get this item. That means acquiring the large sum of money before anyone else. For others the goal is to solve the mystery behind the item (What's the item made of? Who's the person selling it? Who made it?) and for some the goal is far more sinister.

Preview: Rulers and Conquest (Plot B):
In the game Rulers and Conquest there's a very special item given to Shun, a new player in the VRMMO. As for why it was given to him only the one who gave it to him knows the exact reason why it was given to him. The weapon is worth a million gold, but the only way Shun could accept this item is if he took on the million gold debt. He can't sell the item, because it becomes soulbound after it's equipped. Shun won't have to pay back the entire debt on one condition, that he listens to the orders of the person who gave it to him. Is Shun a high quality slave, a tool for his master to use, or is he a student who his teacher is guiding? 
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#2
My signature says I should help you so I guess I will.

Option A seems more original - although I wish it was more common - and realistic to me, whereas Option B seems to be an easier path to take when writing.

Why? Because Option A follows a lot of how a game should be designed, in that it's content that is equally available to every player (until someone actually acquires it of course). The downside of that is that the only way for your story to accurately portray that is to give a large amount of credence to what is going on outside of your main character's immediate surroundings. If you want to be realistic, you may even have to give your main character a guild.

Option B, however, gives what a lot of readers like, which is an "OP" character (at least in appearance) who has an advantage handed to him right from the beginning. It will focus on the individual story rather than the progression of the game.

As for what type of story I would prefer to see, that would be the first. Which one you can do better and which would succeed on this site, either could work. The second kind is certainly more common around here, which is both a good and a bad thing.
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#3
(28-01-18, 12:44 AM)bubbleduck Wrote: My signature says I should help you so I guess I will.

Option A seems more original - although I wish it was more common - and realistic to me, whereas Option B seems to be an easier path to take when writing.

Why? Because Option A follows a lot of how a game should be designed, in that it's content that is equally available to every player (until someone actually acquires it of course). The downside of that is that the only way for your story to accurately portray that is to give a large amount of credence to what is going on outside of your main character's immediate surroundings. If you want to be realistic, you may even have to give your main character a guild.

Option B, however, gives what a lot of readers like, which is an "OP" character (at least in appearance) who has an advantage handed to him right from the beginning. It will focus on the individual story rather than the progression of the game.

As for what type of story I would prefer to see, that would be the first. Which one you can do better and which would succeed on this site, either could work. The second kind is certainly more common around here, which is both a good and a bad thing.

Thanks for the advice! I think making the story more realistic could make the story more interesting, as well, although I do like stories with OP protagonist too. I was considering making the meta of the game change every now and then, so the strongest class would change with new patches. I'm not sure if I can make it realistic though, because I'm not sure about all that entails. When trying to come up with ideas for this story, a lot of times, I couldn't come up with anything.

Nothing is set in stone yet, I haven't yet decided what these powerful items do, I'm trying to come up with something that's not too powerful, but is worth the tremendous gold cost.
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#4
I agree with bubbleduck, though for different reasons.

I think it's entirely possible you'll find a large audience for option B, faster, if this site is the point of concentration for the story.  It seems there are always members looking for the OP MC style of tale.

Option A offers the more realistic scenario, but I find myself concerned about one facet - the price of the item.  Most MMOs allow players to spend real-world cash on in-game currency and items.

There are plenty of rich people in the world, or rich kids with trust funds.  What's to stop one of them from buying it outright?

If the game has no way to spend real money on virtual currency or in-game items, then everybody would be on a level playing field and you'd have yourself a story.  However, if they are, as a reader I would find it suspect that nobody has simply bought it for cash.

I think Option A would make for the more interesting tale, if the in-game economy is believable.  Both hold potential, though.

Just my two cents.
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#5
A sounds like multiple points of view which can be a tough technical writing challenge. B is one point of view which is easier to write and easier for the audience to relate to.

Neither of these scenarios actually seem to be mutually exclusive though. The story could start as A with people finding out about the existence of the weapon and trying to get it. Then it could move to B where Shun is given the weapon.

Ultimately the best one is whichever one gets you the most excited about writing it. The one that generates the most ideas for you.
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#6
Either or works as long as you can make your plot and sub plots interesting. I don't think A or B is harder/easier to write once you get into the flow of things. The only thing I recommend is don't make item/mc overpowered or if you do give it/mc an exploitable weakness otherwise there is no point to reading the story.

The question it really comes down to is what you would prefer to write? or you could also try to combine both ideas if you can't really decide.
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#7
(28-01-18, 04:15 AM)Drew Walker Wrote: I agree with bubbleduck, though for different reasons.

I think it's entirely possible you'll find a large audience for option B, faster, if this site is the point of concentration for the story.  It seems there are always members looking for the OP MC style of tale.

Option A offers the more realistic scenario, but I find myself concerned about one facet - the price of the item.  Most MMOs allow players to spend real-world cash on in-game currency and items.

There are plenty of rich people in the world, or rich kids with trust funds.  What's to stop one of them from buying it outright?

If the game has no way to spend real money on virtual currency or in-game items, then everybody would be on a level playing field and you'd have yourself a story.  However, if they are, as a reader I would find it suspect that nobody has simply bought it for cash.

I think Option A would make for the more interesting tale, if the in-game economy is believable.  Both hold potential, though.

Just my two cents.

I was thinking if I do decide to make so it can be bought with real money, that maybe I could make it so this item is worth a lot in gold, but it can only be bought by trading exceedingly rare resources or maybe make it so expensive that it can't be bought, by rich kids that aren't billionaires.


(28-01-18, 12:31 PM)Wulf Wrote: Either or works as long as you can make your plot and sub plots interesting. I don't think A or B is harder/easier to write once you get into the flow of things. The only thing I recommend is don't make item/mc overpowered or if you do give it/mc an exploitable weakness otherwise there is no point to reading the story.

The question it really comes down to is what you would prefer to write? or you could also try to combine both ideas if you can't really decide.

I want to write something really good and combining the ideas is a fantastic idea. Thanks @Vze3vdnp for bringing it to my attention. I'm probably going to make the first plot part 1 and the second plot part 2.
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