Hello everyone, 

I'm ready to do another feedback exchange, but this time for an unfinished story of mine aimed at kids (link below).  

In exchange for giving me feedback on my kids story, I will give you the same length, depth and quality of feedback on any piece of your choosing.

There are conditions... please do not be snobbish about the target audience.  Please let me know if it is pitched right and if you think it is not, then please point out the shortcomings.

As it's a rough draft, I've left in the author's notes which explain my thought processes and inspirations.  

The story follows Josh, a young Earth boy, whose life is turned upside down when his family adopts Kora - a very sweet alien girl with an iron will.  

The good aliens in the story are called Aetherials.  The evil aliens in the story are Xarkrons.  They are all from different planets in the same solar system and they reached Earth via a wormhole in space.

My Sister's An Alien

It's on my reading list :)